Most inspirational teachings talk about removing the limits from your life. "Unlimited potential," they say! But I want to talk about limiting yourself! Yes, I said you should LIMIT yourself. What do I mean? Limiting your ability to beat yourself up over things you did in the past.
We are humans. We have egos, or "flesh" as the King James Bible calls it. The ego craves our destruction. It revels in our discomfort. This is why the first tenant of Buddhism is "Life is suffering." That's because everyone alive has an ego. So rather than trying to pretend that we do not have an ego/flesh/self-destructive side, I say accept it and then we can move past it.
Here is what I am proposing. Place a statute of limitations on all of your own actions, every foolish decision, every embarrassing thing you have said or done, and all the times you looked like and idiot.
Beat yourself over it. Get mad at yourself, even cry about it. Then let it go!
I believe an appropriate statute of limitation to any action, thought, decision, or deed is 7 years. Some might say, "WHAT?? Why that long?" But let's be serious. Who among us doesn't sometimes bring up things they did or said that embarrassed them when they were kids or teenagers or animosity toward a family member for something that happened long ago? Not to mention the relationships that ended badly or the jobs we never should have quit, or the time we failed to answer the door when opportunity knocked.
Obviously, somethings are not worth dwelling on for the full seven years, but every once and a while, we encounter something that is hard to let go. With that said, it is my belief that even the most egregious offenses are not worth holding on to for more than seven years.
I recently found myself taking a walk down memory lane and stumbling over some old memories connected to a group of friends I used to hang out with...ELEVEN YEARS AGO! First of all, I can't believe how time flew by so quickly. Secondly, I was amazed at how I felt all the same embarrassment and anger that I did back then when things ended badly with that group of friends (all connected to a particular church I was attending at the time). My ego liked feeling the negative emotions. The ego feels safe and content in the darkness of negativity. But the moment I realized what my mind was doing, I made a decision to set a limit on my emotions, an extremely generous ego-centric limit howbeit, but a limit nonetheless.
Seven years. When a negative memory pops up, think to yourself "Did this happen longer than 7 years ago?" If the answer is yes, then say, "Oh, well. It's dead to me now. That is ancient history." You'll be shocked at how many old tapes from the past you pull out and review in your mind on a regular basis.
All the things from your childhood. The job that fired you. The person that walked out on you. The church that ostracized you. That's all dead to you now. It's all ancient history.
Comments? Add me on Facebook or Twitter.
