I am honestly shocked at how many people don't like themselves. Everywhere you turn you hear psychologists and self-help gurus spouting the mantra, "Love yourself! Love yourself!"
It doesn't seem to be sticking for most people. They simple don't know how or what it means to love yourself. Sadly, very few people have reached a level of like toward themselves much less a level of love.
Allow me to break it down into easy to chew bite-size pieces.
1. Be yourself without shame.
You are the only you who has or will ever exist. So be authentically you. You are not your body; you are not your stuff; you are not your relationship status. Once you realize this, you can stop being ashamed of how you look, where you live, what you're driving, that you're single, divorced, or whatever.
You are valuable simply because you are you. Not because of how you look, what you have, or who you're with.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others.
We live in a celebrity obsessed culture. In fact, I operate a daily pop-culture website. My motive for doing so is to help people to enjoy every day of their life by laughing at the absurdity of the culture that so many long to be a part of.
If you're a housewife from Boulder, Co., chances are you're never going to be a celebrity. So the sooner you stop judging yourself for being less famous and less wealthy than Hollywood socialites, the sooner you can start enjoying being a housewife. Or school-teacher, or accountant, or waitress, or whatever your lot in life is.
3. Tune out the negative voices.
Other people's opinions of you are none of your business. When learning to love yourself, you realize that the only person's opinion about yourself that truly matters is yours. You will encounter people who don't like you. Tune their opinions out. People who don't like you are a poor judge of character -- obviously. Therefore, it would be foolish to listen to the opinions of a person with poor judgment.
Your opinion is the one that matters. So let yourself know how fabulous you think you are. I do it all the time. I refuse to talk bad about myself. Instead I often tell myself how great, wise, good-looking, fun, and amazing I am. Sometimes jokingly as I walk out the door. Other times, very intensely, face to face in the mirror.
Most people don't like themselves because the only things they hear about themselves are negative. So change it. If you don't know how to love yourself, just start with liking yourself. You'd never talk bad about someone you like.
If you wait for someone else to build your esteem, it will never happen. That's why it's called self-esteem. You're the one that has to build it. So start building today.
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